


How does the pizza man do it?

by AlltheswegXD20



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, M/M, Oneshot, Shameless Smut, Top Castiel, casdean - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:42:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6602515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlltheswegXD20/pseuds/AlltheswegXD20
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Destiel AU<br/>In which cas can make dean orgasm whenever he wants to.<br/>- inspired by a writing prompt on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How does the pizza man do it?

**Author's Note:**

> Cue the music! *'Careless Whisper' plays in the background.*

...  
Cas had watched angels twist livers, give hemorrhages, remove lungs, give cancer, and take it away from dean and Sam countless times, and Cas had healed them over and over. He had also engraved the Enochian sigil on their ribs. He was aware that he could easily control any human bodily function. He had never altered Dean’s body past healing it, but recently he was becoming curious. He didn’t want to change anything to hurt Dean, Chuck no. He just simply wanted to experiment with cause and effect. So he started small: He made dean hungry, so Dean took them to a restaurant. Cas sped up the digestive system, so Dean went to the bathroom. When dean felt gloomy, Cas added more endorphins so that Dean became happy, and felt good. Cas was enjoying his small secret experiments on Dean. He was sure no one knew, but was shaken a bit when Sam told Dean he seemed like a girl on her period, changing through all those emotions in one day. So Cas made sure to spread the experiments over a few days.  
He didn’t really know how to get certain reactions out of dean, such as the ones on TV, where two people would seem to be in…pleasure. He didn’t understand what was going on when he inserted the disk he found under the bookshelf, but he was observing the reactions.  
“Cas….what the hell are you doing?” Dean asked.  
“I’m watching a strange movie.” Cas replied.  
“Cas, that’s PORN.”  
“…”  
Cas hadn’t ever seen that sort of expression from a human in person before, so he didn’t understand what caused it. They looked erotic, and to be honest, Cas kinda liked it. He wondered if Dean had ever made that sort of expression.  
“Why?”  
“Because it was there.”  
“Cas, man. Whatever.”  
Dean was about to walk out of the room when Cas stopped him.  
“Dean, why do they make that face?”  
Dean turned to look at the moaning pair on the TV screen.  
“That is the face of an orgasm.”  
Cas’ eyes furrowed.  
“Dean, what is an orgasm?”  
Dean chuckled and sat next to him on the couch.  
“I can’t believe I’m teaching an angel sex 101. Um… it’s what happens when you reach the climax of sexual activity; the final touchdown.”  
“Can it happen more than once?” Cas asked.  
“Pffft. Oh yea. It takes work, and it gets tiring haha.”  
Cas watched Dean’s face and tried to imagine that expression on him. He thought it could be interesting, and was determined to find out.  
…

Cas had done some research and had the whole concept of the orgasm down.  
He understood how it worked, and why it happened the way it did. All that was left was to test it out on dean. There was only one problem: there was never a right time to do it. Cas was sure he could make it happen at any given moment, but he didn’t want it to cause dean grief... he wanted to test it out when they were alone, but when the opportunity came, it was in the middle of a hunt, or when Sam went out to the library and Charlie showed up to say hi or give them some information on a new case. He wondered if he could tell Charlie about his doings because they had become very close now that they had finally met. Of course, Charlie had accepted his interest in Dean for a while now, and he was sure telling her about his experiments wouldn’t make him seem weird.  
“Hey Charlie.” Cas said as Charlie walked into the room.  
“hey Cas.”  
“I wanted to talk to you about something.”  
“What is it?”  
Cas looked over at Dean who was watching some sort of Tv sitcom.  
“It’s about Dean.”  
Charlie seemed a little worried and said, “OH. Ok let’s go to the kitchen.”  
They quietly maneuvered their way into the kitchen trying to not raise any suspicion from dean.  
“So what is it?”  
“Well,” Cas said hesitantly, “I have been performing… experiments.”  
“How do you mean?”  
“Well, I have subtly been changing Dean’s emotions and body functions. BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN HURTING HIM!” Cas said quickly  
“Shh!”  
They both looked at Dean, who was oblivious to their conversation.  
“Wait, so you just make him take a piss with a snap of your fingers with your angel-mojo?”  
“Yes.”  
Charlie laughed and put her hand on Cas’ shoulder to support herself.  
“I thought there was gonna be something serious.”  
“I want to make him orgasm.”  
Charlie stopped laughing immediately and stared at Cas in bewilderment.  
“…you, what?”  
Cas looked back at her as if she was the strange one. Had he not spoken clearly? Why did she look so shocked?  
“what?”  
Charlie burst out in laughter.  
“you want to sex dean up, I see?”  
“No, I simply want to make him ‘reach the final touchdown’ as he put it. I wonder what expression he would make.”  
At this point, Charlie was on the floor holding her sides.  
“OMG CAS! YOU’RE TOO FUNNY! Hahaha do you even KNOW how people get there?”  
“Yes, they have sexual intercourse and fondle each others genitals until they climax.”  
Charlie was having trouble breathing.  
“What the hell is going on?!” Dean said walking into the room with Charlie basically drooling on the floor. Cas was startled. He didn’t even hear Dean walk towards them.  
“uh…”  
“Cas is … a funny guy.” Charlie said between deep breaths.  
“I’m not even gonna ask. Ya’ll are weird.” Dean said stepping over Charlie to open the fridge and grabbed a beer. Cas was relieved; what if he had heard what they were talking about? That would have been a disaster.  
…  
It was a chilly night. Cas was becoming sensitive to the cold now that he was slowly turning human. He was lying on the couch watching dr. sexi. He honestly didn’t know what the big deal was.  
“Cas.”  
He looked up from the couch. Did someone say something?  
“Cas.”  
He looked around to reply to whoever was talking to him, but no one was there.  
Cas got up to walk around to inspect the bunker. He walked into the kitchen, and into the different hallways. There was no one to be seen, so he decided to go check on the guys. Sam was sleeping peacefully to one side. Then cas approached Dean’s room. The door was slightly open and cas peeked inside. Dean was lying on his back, his t-shirt raised, exposing his chest and ab muscles. The sheet covered his lower half, but dean’s hand reached down under it. He could see the hand moving in a repeating motion.  
“mmm..” Dean moaned.  
Cas looked at Dean’s face. Dean had his mouth open, breathing heavily, a slight tint to his face, his eyes were closed and his eyebrows indicated a sad expression, but Dean didn’t seem sad…he seemed to be enjoying himself. Cas suddenly realized what was going on. He didn’t know what to do! Here dean was, in his most beautiful form, making an expression Cas had wanted to see for a while now! This desperate, squirming Dean was foreign to Cas. He wanted to get closer. Dean was calling HIS name! Such a view should be illegal. How could he not get excited?  
“Fuck, it’s taking forever…help me already…ah!”  
Cas wanted to watch, but it was hard to stay put. Dean had never looked so hot!  
“Mmm, Cas, why don’t you take responsibility? Aah..”  
Cas couldn’t take it anymore. He opened the door all the way with a squeak and walked into the room, making his presence known. Dean immediately covered himself with the bedsheet.  
“Dammit Cas, what the hell are you doing?”  
“You were calling me.”  
Dean paused for a moment and stared in shock.  
“Uh…um..I might have…in my sleep.”  
“I don’t think you were sleeping, Dean.” Cas said while suggestively looking down at him.  
“Look, man, I’m a dude! I need to do this from time to time. Just leave me alone for now.” He said as he looked away. If Dean could blush, his face would be deep red right now.  
“You called out to me for help. Let me assist you.”  
“Cas, what?”  
Cas walked over to him, placed one knee on the bed, grabbed Dean’s wrists and held them against the headboard with his right hand. It all happened so fast; Dean didn’t know what had just happened.  
…

Cas looked down at him with a certain dominance that made Dean shiver. His face was hovering a little too close for comfort, and Dean looked away.  
“Cas, what are you…”  
“Dean, look at me.”  
Dean tried to remove his hands from their position, but they wouldn’t budge. Cas was only holding them with one hand. How could he be this strong? Well, dean thought, Cas was an angel after all.  
“Dean.”  
He didn’t want to look up, he didn’t know what Cas was trying to do, and he was scared of what was coming next. He was hesitant to look up at Cas, but he did anyway.  
“I’m going to commence my experiment now.” Cas said.  
“Your what? Cas wha-“ Dean was interrupted when Cas leaned in and gently pressed their lips together. Dean looked at him with wide eyes. What the hell was going on?! Was Cas really doing this? Or was this some sort of Dream he couldn’t wake from? No. this was totally real life. What the fuck. Cas continued the kiss, passionately moving his lips. Dean was beyond confused at this point. Has Cas done this before? He was surprisingly good at it. Cas’ eyes were closed, his face looked peaceful and totally comfortable with what was going on. Dean couldn’t resist, so he reciprocated by leaning more into the kiss. He relaxed his arms, and stopped resisting. This was hella strange, and he didn’t know what had prompted Cas to act like this. Maybe it was because now that he was turning human, he got sudden urges that he can’t control. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter; this felt right. It was suddenly getting too heated, and Dean needed a break.  
“Ahh…hah…Cas *pant…let me breathe.”  
Cas looked at him, his eyes glazed over with lust. It made Dean feel like he was the prey Cas was going to ravish. This dominating stare made Dean weak, and he felt unable to resist the gaze. He wasn’t scared, nor did he feel threatened. He felt peaceful, and he kinda liked it; his growing erection a testament to that.  
“Dean, am I hurting you?”  
Dean shook his head.  
“Am I doing it right?”  
“Cas…where did you learn to do that? You’re doing better than expected.”  
Cas snickered. “You expected me to kiss you?”  
Dean paused. “uh…I mean, you’re an angel and all, I just thought you didn’t have much experience with that sort of thing.”  
“Actually, I observed the pizza man and tested out his technique. It seems to be very effective.”  
Dean laughed. He couldn’t believe Cas learned how to kiss from porn. But then it hit him…that was Cas’ first kiss! He had chosen Dean to be the one to take his lip virginity. He didn’t know why this was such a big deal, but Dean couldn’t help but dote on it. He looked at Cas, who in turn gave him a side smirk.  
“Are you just gonna stare at me all sexy like? Or are you gonna kiss me again?”  
Cas smiled and leaned in to kiss dean. Dean accepted his lips with the utmost welcoming, and he passionately reciprocated.  
With his free hand, Cas moved his hand up Dean’s side.  
“Ah! Cas, your hands are cold!”  
“Your body will warm them up for me.”  
Dean shivered and bit his lip. Cas’ face hovered over Dean’s as he curiously explored his body while recording Dean’s reactions in his mind. A hand running up Dean’s body would earn him a moan, over his chest a shiver, and kissing Dean’s neck would result in moans and squirming. Dean could not possibly have a license to be this cute. Cas moved his hand down to Dean’s right hip, holding him down while rubbing circles with his thumb.  
“uhm….cas…..”  
Cas looked down and noticed Dean’s hardness through his pj’s, throbbing in all its glory.  
“Cas, stop looking at it…do something about it.”  
That was Cas’ breaking point. He didn’t know this experiment would earn him such a great reaction nor did he personally expect to be affected. He was not experienced in this activity, but he had observed enough of the pizza man movie to make educated assumptions and use his instincts.  
“Ok Dean.”  
Cas let go of Dean’s hands and placed both of his on Dean’s hips. In the blink of an eye, Cas had taken off his shoes, and positioned himself so that Dean was straddling him. Sitting up, He ran his hands up Dean’s shirt, and Dean arched his back as he wrapped his arms around the angel below him.  
“You have nice reactions, Dean.”  
“ah...Cas-Just hurry…”  
Dean couldn't take it anymore. ‘Cas had touched everywhere but his dick! What the fuck? He said he was gonna help me, but instead this sunuvabitch is...is-wait. Is he teasing me? oooh this asshole.’ Dean thought.  
“Cas, please~!”  
Dean was now begging. He could not believe it. Him? Begging for someone, especially Cas, to touch him. The most action he ever thought he was going to get with Cas was hugging. But here they are, close and hot, kissing and rubbing, Dean didn’t know how much of this he could take. He was starting to reconsider the dream aspect to all this. Why did it feel so damn good? Cas’ hands wandered all over Dean’s body, leaving a tingling heat in their tracks. Cas slid off his trenchcoat and suit, while Dean desperately undid Cas’ tie. Cas then pulled Dean in by the neck to kiss him again, and with his other hand gave dean’s perky ass a squeeze.  
“Mmmmmm…”  
“Dean, your skin is so smooth.”  
“yea...ya ever heard of lotion?”  
Cas wondered if this was the proper time to use his new acquired angel skill. Dean kept saying he couldn't do it on his own; what could Cas do?  
“Dean, look here.”  
Dean did not need to be told twice. He looked down at Cas and kissed him passionately. Suddenly, there was an all too familiar growing tightness in the pit of his abdomen, and a tingling sensation that extended all the way to his toes.  
“Mmmm~! ah!~” Dean clenched his teeth.  
Cas watched him squirm and carefully recorded every movement. Dean’s expression was the best part. Cas was pleased with the reaction he got.  
“Dean, you look very satisfied.”  
Dean hunched over Cas’ shoulder, panting.  
“What... was that?” Dean asked.  
“That was my assistance. Experiment end.”  
…

Dean walked into the kitchen, and made preparations necessary for his coffee.  
“Good morning Dean.”  
Dean jumped a little bit. He was not expecting Cas to sneak up behind him like that. He made sure to avoid making any sort of eye contact as he maneuvered around the kitchen space that now seemed smaller than usual.  
“Uh, hey Cas.”  
“Were you able to sleep well?”  
Even though Dean was not looking directly at cas, He could feel the sunlight radiating off him. Jesus, Cas! Calm the fuck down. Why is he so energetic this morning?’Dean thought.  
Cas sat at the kitchen table.  
“Last night was interesting.”  
Dean nearly dropped the coffee mug he was holding.  
“I was able to acquire most important information. The experiment was successful.”  
Dean didn’t know what the fuck Cas was talking about.  
“Cas, what the f-”  
“Dean I really am happy with the results; aren't you?”  
Dean turned around quickly, and in the process knocked over some sugar packets.  
“Shit...uh, Cas, can we not talk about this in...like ever?” Dean said re-organizing the packets.  
“Why not?”  
“Because... you don't talk about shit like that aloud. It’s more of a…” Dean paused,”...a you and-and me sort of secret, ok?”  
Cas smiled cheerfully.  
“Yes Dean.”  
Oh my god this assbutt is gonna kill me, I swear.  
“How did you do that anyway? all you did was,” Dean whispered,” kiss me.”  
Cas walked over to Dean, forced him to turn around and look at him, then kissed him gently.  
“Like this.”  
Dean’s legs immediately gave out, and he was grasping Cas’ shirt, clinging to him for support as he orgasmed there where he once stood.  
“Aaaahh! What!?...mmm.”  
Dean was in pleasure, but confused at the same time.  
Cas smiled and said,”I guess you could say that my kisses are… orgasmic.”  
Did this bitch really say a joke right now? I will murder this bastard.  
“Cas, I literally JUST FUCKING SHOWERED.”  
“hahaha.”  
~From then on, whenever Dean needed ‘help’, Cas enjoyed his time a bit, then kissed Dean. Dean was getting too well accustomed to this practice. It was not until Sam told them to keep it quiet at night that Cas decided it was time to experiment with further sexual advances…*wiggles eyebrows*~

END

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first oneshot posted on here. Please don't hate me. :/ I did my best, but I will do better next time. I hope you enjoyed! :D please leave your thoughts, and any suggestions so I can improve for future fics! Have a nice day! (maybe go shower in some holy water or something. lol) XD


End file.
